Over the last few weeks, I have been doing internal work on myself. Not the kind of surface level “learn a skill” I have been analysing the way I feel around certain topics, pushing myself to explore all areas of my mind.

I thought I would just be learning how to communicate better. I didn’t expect to walk straight into parts of myself I didn’t even know I’d been avoiding.

Thats the thing about self awareness: you think you are aware of every part of yourself, until something catches you off guard and opens something within yourself that you have “hid away”. You start realising that half of your behaviours are built on old experiences you never fully unpacked.

And in those moments the real growth begins.

Identity: The Topic I Never Thought I Needed to Explore

One of the biggest things I have explored is identity. Now this is something that no one ever talks about in my family and it is something that I have never really felt the need to explore as I was just “me”.

But looking deeper into identity not just sexuality or attraction, but the full picture of how you are in your own body, how you express yourself, how safe or unsafe you feel in your own skin made me realise how much I’d taken for granted. There’s a privilege in being able to exist without justifying your identity to the world every single day.

I had blind spots. Not intentionally, but simply because I’d never been pushed to look. When you begin to explore and learn about the entire spectrum of human identity, you start to see that there are lots of emotions that people are terrified to express.

And suddenly, identity becomes less of a “topic” and more of a very human experience.

Understanding this has shifted how I listen. It has shown me that I need to create space where people can just be who they are. Where expression is natural. Where someone can say, “This is who I am,” and actually feel safe when they say it.

For me, this wasn’t just an intellectual moment. It was emotional. It was personal. It made me challenge my assumptions and recognise that my comfort doesn’t equal someone else’s comfort.

That awareness alone changed the way I show up for others.

The Cage I Didn’t Realise I Was Living In

Before this period of growth, I had a glossy outer shell and I don’t mean that negatively. From the outside, I was a law student, I carried myself with confidence.

Inside? I felt trapped.

It was not loud. It was a quiet feeling of being stuck, the type you finally notice when you slow down enough to hear your own thoughts. I kept moving through life like everything was fine, but inside there was a constant pressure, like something within me was waiting to be acknowledged.

The best way I can describe it is like being inside a cage with glass walls. I could see life moving around me. I could see possibility. I could see growth. But something in me stayed frozen. I didn’t know why and part of me didn’t want to know why, because looking inward meant facing things I had been ignoring for years.

But when you start genuinely paying attention to your internal world, the cage starts to crack.

What I discovered shocked me, because it was so simple yet so powerful:

My deepest motive the one underneath everything I do comes from a very old feeling of being misunderstood. Feeling unheard. Feeling like my voice did not matter.

And because I lived through that, because I know that pain and I am used to it. My instinct is to make sure nobody else ever feels it.

There’s a beautiful side to that.
And a dangerous one.

The Beautiful Side

I care deeply.
I want people to feel safe, supported, respected, and truly listened to.
I want people to feel seen in ways I never did.

And that motive is the foundation of Makia a space for the misunderstood.

The Shadow Side

Sometimes I want to help too quickly.
I want to fix it.

But fixing someone too fast does not empower them.
It interrupts them.

Seeing this in myself has been life-changing. It means I can slow down. I can notice when that urge rises. I can breathe instead of react. I can hold space instead of filling it.

That’s real growth.
And it’s not glamorous but it’s powerful.

Values That Shape How I Show Up

Through this inner work, two core values became impossible to ignore:

1. Autonomy

I believe completely in a person’s right to make their own choices. I don’t want to speak over anyone’s experiences or push them in a direction that isn’t theirs. Autonomy is about empowerment, not control. It means stepping back and allowing people to find their own answers, not handing them mine.

2. Efficiency

This one came from my law background. I love solutions. I love structure. I love clarity. I want to get to the heart of a problem and resolve it quickly.

But in emotional or personal growth, efficiency doesn’t always help. Sometimes the slow route is the real route. Sometimes silence does more than strategies.

Recognising these values means I can choose when to lean into them and when to step back.

It means I’m no longer being run by old habits.
I’m consciously choosing the kind of listener and leader I want to be.

How This Connects Back to Makia

Makia was always meant to be a home for the ones who think deeper, feel deeper, question their identity, question the world, and don’t always feel understood.

People who know there is more to them than what life has allowed them to show.

People who’ve felt the “cage.”

The last few weeks reminded me exactly why I built Makia in the first place:

Because the world needs more spaces where people can unravel without shame.
More spaces where listening is done with intention, where people feel safe to be who they are.

My journey is not finished. It’s barely begun. But what I know for certain is this:

The more I grow, the more Makia grows with me.
And the more Makia grows, the more people will finally feel understood.

If this resonated with you, you’re exactly who Makia was created for.

And we’re only just getting started.

Remember, it all starts with self love

-M