Thoughts and feelings can be hard to tell apart. Sometimes we think that we understand and can control our feelings, just because the words run through our head. But when we decide to feel our feelings – the ones that have been repressed or are hidden deep down for others sake – The feelings of being weak and embarrassed comes to the surface. Along with them comes a breakdown of the person you once knew: the person in control of themselves and their mind.

How Feelings Can Make Us Feel Weak

When looking deeper into ourselves and childhood, we can often see that based on environment or upbringing is the cause of the majority of repressed feelings. When we do not feel safe or heard, the body and mind adapt. By not feeling safe or heard, our body and mind gets used to the fact that when we feel we get “hurt” – not physically, but emotionally hurt.

Overtime, we see this as normal. Looking at how we see different people in our lives interact. Normal feelings of anger or positive emotions can feel strange and it can break the barrier we once held up for ourselves to protect what we had.

The collapse of something that once kept us safe.

Why Taking Time to Release is Good

After a long period of your feelings building up, the feeling of being strong or positive is at the forefront of what people see – how you feel about your life. Feelings can be so easily overlooked, and the time that our feelings become too much can be a catastrophe.

The cup of feeling has just began to overflow – and that is okay.

With the breakdown that has been caused by the overflow of emotions. This can also be looked at in a positive way instead of being negative. The breakdown can also be drawing a line in the sand of your old life.

Not being able to feel.

Thinking you are okay all the time.

This can be a starting point for the person you are becoming because its healthy to feel feelings. But scary – Very scary – But it is good.

Exploring Feelings After Trauma.

When trauma is experienced in life at any age it can not only affect the brain by shrinking our memory centre, but our prefrontal cortex, causing emotional dysregulation.

Trauma causing a guard to be built surrounding your emotions, is just a way of not only the brain but the entire body protecting itself – from potential threats. Feelings are the scariest thing on the planet when you felt it during something traumatic.

But what if the fear centre is not only protecting us from feelings – but its actually harming the way we perceive life, our relationships, harming ourselves.

Turning Embarrassment into Being Proud of Yourself

Changing your perspective on an ideal can be terrifying.

Feeling can be terrifying.

When the world that once seemed so good, gets crushed by the negative emotions once hidden away in the back of your mind. Having to face those challenges and changes can be daunting but there is also a small ounce of pride.

Times can get hard when figuring yourself out at any point in life. Adding the start of deep emotions can be triggering and confusing. The moment you feel that slight of weakness about yourself coming to the surface – the crack or your shield – which in a short amount of time turns into a million shards of glass.

But after this scary and embarrassing time, We must look back and realise: that even though it happened, showing emotions in a raw way is something to be proud of. we get to feel that sense of emotion and deal with it over time. Everything that happens to us overtime is a sign that we are growing and evolving into the best versions of ourselves.

Makia Perspective

Recently, I faced one of these emotional breakdowns after having my guard up and not letting emotions out. My life caught up with me – all the refusing to notice feelings, the overthinking – all came out. I felt embarrassed not only for myself but how people viewed me.

To me, emotions was a sign of weakness – and weakness is not a good thing. Being seen differently by anyone was terrifying. Later on after apologising, over and over again because there must be something “wrong with me”

I noticed that my thoughts towards myself and how people viewed me were all imagined. Feeling feelings – a normal phenomenon – wasn’t making people change what they thought of me. They were proud of me for opening up.

Conclusion

Maybe strength was never about holding it in. Maybe it was about letting yourself feel – even when you are scared.

Especially then.

Remember it all starts with self love

-M