Today, I thought I would write this blog post on how I am feeling recently. After a little while posting mindset content and how to help others. I feel I need to check in with myself. And what better way to do that than on my empowerment blog.
Sometimes writing your thoughts are the only way to make sense of them.
Ever had the feeling of a dead end in life. That you are frozen and everything else is moving around you. That feeling will be very familiar with most people experience.
Why am I feeling this way?
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m frozen in time, like the world is spinning forward but I’m standing still, watching everything move without me. It’s a strange, heavy feeling, like I’m stuck between who I was and who I’m becoming. I know I’ve grown, I’ve survived so much, and I’m proud of that. But sometimes, it still feels like I’m paused in a moment I never chose. And I know I’m not alone in this, so many people feel this way, especially when they don’t know what they’re doing in life. When there’s no clear path or direction, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind, even when you’re doing your best. Everyone else seems to be moving on, chasing goals, ticking boxes and I’m just here, trying to breathe through the uncertainty. But maybe that’s what growth looks like before it blooms. Maybe this quiet, confusing in-between is where something new begins.
I believe that the reason I feel the way I do, is because i have outgrown that previous victim mindset that used to weigh me down. I am no longer in survival mode. I have done the inner work to become exactly who I want to be. Meditated, journalled, manifested and poured self love into me to make me feel whole again.
And I know that the blessings in my life are coming everything I have worked hard for will one day come to fruition. Sitting in the grey zone is scary, not knowing if everything will work out. i am still in the same shell. The outside is having trouble catching up with the inside. Trusting in yourself and in the highest power will give comfort in this time.
What I have been doing to tackle this?
Meditation and Journalling
Lately, I have been meditating and writing down my feelings so that i can make more sense of my mind. I have struggled to feel emotions in the past, so this is the only way that I have been able to reach to a conclusion of how I am feeling. It was very hard for me to visualise a life that I wanted for myself, everything was black. I was disconnected from myself. But recently, something has changed.
The time has come in my life to decide what I am going to do with my life. Pretty scary stuff. It feels like everyone around me has some sort of plan/idea of what they want to become and then there is me. sitting alone in an empty room with no direction in life. I wish that things just came to me easily that I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I have come to the conclusion that maybe I don’t know because I am not meant to do your “normal” job maybe I am meant to do something different. That is the only thing that keeps my sane.
I have a dream. Something that I don’t like to share with people just incase it doesn’t happen. But I have been visualising this for the past few months and getting very emotional about where my life is going to lead me. I have also been clearing my chakras and learning more about myself through astrology and destiny matrix.
Spiritual walks and Youtube
I have been taking walks down to the beach recently. To get rid of extra energy that I have from the day. I just like to sit on a bench on the boardwalk and look out into the sea. There is something so calming about the sea.
Then, I like to put in headphones and try find a youtube video that I can listen too. After the trauma that I went through and how proud I am to be here. I know think twice before I start praying about things that I need in the moment for my mental health. The last time I asked it was “please show me a video that I need right now” and what did I get. A video that connected with my life and made me very intouch with my emotions.
Exercise & Movement
Movement has also become part of my healing. I’ve started running again, swimming when I can, just letting my body move freely. Not to change how I look, but to reconnect with how I feel. There’s something powerful about pushing through the physical resistance — it mirrors the mental and emotional work I’ve been doing too. Every time I choose to show up, even when I don’t feel like it, I remind myself: I’m still fighting for my future. And that matters.
Conclusion
All of these little practices — the meditations, the beach walks, the prayers, the movement — they’re helping me come home to myself. They might seem small on their own, but together, they’re building something strong and steady within me. I’m not fully where I want to be yet, but I can feel that I’m getting closer. And maybe that’s what this season is about — learning to trust the process, even when the path isn’t clear. If you’re in that in-between too, know that you’re not alone. We’re both becoming, and that’s more than enough.
Remember, It all starts with self love
-M
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Makia by Morgan Thain-Miller 
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