As children, we let our imaginations run free. We had big dreams of becoming astronauts to changing the world. But as we enter adulthood this seems to change, the world begins to chip away at our soul desires and we give up on our dreams. this is through societal expectations, financial ties and pressures of practicality.

But why do we give up on our dreams so easily?

In this blog post, the main reasons why we give up on those big dreams will be looked at. By looking at psychological, societal and emotional struggles, this will give us a clear path on how to reignite our deepest desires. Because no matter how far you have strayed, it is never too late to find that long lost dream.

THE REALITY:

Psychological Reasons Behind Abandoning Dreams

1. The Fear of Failure
   • As we grow, our awareness of potential failure increases. Studies show that fear of failure often comes from perfectionism or early criticism, leading us to avoid risks that could result in unmet expectations.
   • A 2018 study in Behavior Research and Therapy found that fear of failure significantly predicts avoidance behaviors, which could explain why many abandon their aspirations.
2. Cognitive Development and Realism
   • Between ages 7 and 12, children’s cognitive abilities develop, allowing them to differentiate fantasy from reality. While this is healthy, it can also lead to early self-doubt as they internalize limitations based on what they see around them.
3. Comparison and Impostor Syndrome
   • With social media and societal expectations amplifying comparisons, young people may feel they aren’t “good enough” to pursue their dreams.
   • A 2020 study published in Frontiers in Psychology revealed that over 70% of respondents experienced impostor syndrome, with many abandoning their ambitions due to self-doubt.

Societal Factors Driving Dream Abandonment

1. Education Systems Prioritizing Conformity

• Traditional education systems often emphasize standardized testing and uniformity, discouraging creative and unconventional pursuits.
• Sir Ken Robinson, an advocate for educational reform, famously argued that schools systematically “kill creativity” by undervaluing the arts and individual expression.

2. Economic Pressures

• Financial instability is a major factor in steering individuals away from their dreams.
• According to a 2023 Gallup survey, nearly 60% of Americans prioritize job security over passion when choosing a career.
• Student loan debt further limits opportunities, with many forced to prioritize high-paying roles over their true interests.

3. Cultural Narratives Around Success

A global report by Ipsos (2022) revealed that 70% of adults feel societal pressure to conform to specific life milestones, such as securing a stable job by their mid-20s.

Societal definitions of success often equate achievement with financial wealth, status, or traditional career paths, leaving little room for unconventional dreams.

When I was young, I dreamed of being someone who created something meaningful. I held onto that dream for as long as I could before society started chipping away at my dreams. The voices around me teachers, family and even friends.

I was told to be “realistic” and to stop living in a “dream land” and that I had to choose a path that gave me security and success. I gave up on what makes me feel alive, even though I gripped on for as long as I could. The pressures of life slowly crept up on me. What if I wasn’t good enough? What if I fail? I began to believe that what I wanted in life was just for the insanely talented, and that I was being selfish or naive for thinking I could do it.

Eventually, I gave up on that dream due to the societal pressures weighing me down.

Now I reflect on that dream I once had, I wonder how much of that decision was shaped by me and how much was other people’s expectations of me.

WHY DREAMS MATTER AT ANY AGE:

Dreams are not just a fantasy that we create to take us away from living in the real world. It defines who we are as a person and creates who we become. Some of the most inspiring success stories come from individuals who did not give up on their dream no matter how far away they seemed.

For example, Vera Wang an incredible fashion designer that didn’t enter the fashion world until the age of 40. Who perused figure skating and journalism before reclaiming her dream of wanting to make an impact in the world of design.

Another example is Julia Child, who discovered her love for cooking in her 30’s and didn’t release her first cookbook until the age of 50. Becoming one of the most famous chefs in history, proving that if she never went back to that dream they would not of become her reality.

The reason I began writing in Makia, is because I went through a tough time with mental health and I did not want anyone to feel the way I did. What better way to do so than create a small corner of the internet that is a safe space for all things well being. But looking at the wider perspective of why I started goes right back to the beginning. I always wanted to help people in a certain way and writing was my passion.

No matter where you are in life always remember that your dreams matter. It is never too late to reclaim the again and ignite the spark that was gone. Every small step you take now is a step toward the life you have always imagined.

SUCCESS:

Success in societal terms, is a societal norm defined by your wealth, standards and achievement. But to be honest it is much more than that, it is a unique perspective all of us have on how we want OUR lives to plan out. Not what everyone else thinks we should do with our lives. Success can mean perusing a passion, overcoming an obstacle or living for joy and peace.

Once you stop living for others and start living for yourself. Life begins to feel alot better. You no longer need to fit the mould you can be as crazy and adventurous or peaceful as you wish!

Getting back your dream does not require a giant leap! If you do you will just get burned out. It all begins with small, intentional steps. Whether it is learning a new skill, dedicating a few minutes to your dream or simply loving yourself again. Everything is about building confidence and finding yourself.

Perfection is often the biggest roadblock to pursuing our dreams. The fear of not being “good enough” can keep us stuck, waiting for the perfect moment or skillset to take action. But the truth is, progress matters more than perfection.

CONCLUSION

Letting go of our dreams as we age seems like a normal thing to go through, as we mature into adults. No matter how much time has passed by, our dreams still hold the power to bring purpose into our lives. By letting go of societal norms, redefining success, taking small steps and letting go of perfection. We can create our reality.

The only thing standing between you and your dreams is the fear they are not possible?

So why not start today?

Remember, it all starts with self love

-M

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